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The photograph on the left shows one undomesticated wild otter, obviously rabid.
It likely is a North American River Otter, who also goes by Lontra canadensis
when not mooching candy from small children. This photo was taken by a trained field
biologist during October 2002 at an undisclosed location, though rumors suggest it was
behind a Red Lobster (TM) Restaurant. After taking this photograph, said field biologist was
savaged on the back of the calf and smacked about the ears with a lobster tail by the
pictured beast. Evidently, the field biologist had ignored the first rule of the
otterologist: eat no chocolate 48 hours before approaching within 37 meters of
an otter, lest one wishes to be mauled. His error was compounded by forgetting the
second rule of the otterologist: if you have had choclate in the last 48 hours before
approaching an otter, you better have some to 'share' or else. It is rumored he was
hoping to host a program for the Discovery Channel's Animal Planet channel, When cute
furry mammals go bad . This new program is designed to replace their once popular
program The Crocodile Hunter, and will be introduced during their annual summer
event, Shark Week.
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